9 signs tell you that your marriage will not exceed the obstacle of the seventh year
Have you heard about the “seventh-year obstacle?” It is basically an idea that couples tend to break away during the seventh year of their marriage, where one or both spouses begin to feel malaise, skepticism, and dissatisfaction with the relationship.
“Interestingly, the seventh year obstacle is not usually due to big problems in the relationship, the tendency to break up after seven years of marriage has much more to do with the little things that have been left behind,” says Jaya Mira, author and life coach of Bastle.
Perhaps approaching the seventh year of marriage is the threshold in which we must deal with small irritations before we are late. Things like blame, criticism, contempt, no limits, or trying to change your partner are some of the worst predicaments we see, although those problems The relationship will not ignite immediately but gradually weaken the basis of the marital relationship.
Here are some signs that your marriage may not go beyond the seventh year, according to an article by Christine Felzar on the Bustle website.
Having a partner for granted It’s great to feel at ease with your partner. But if you take it for granted, this is not a good sign, it means that one or both partners have stopped paying attention to the other. Showing gratitude is the secret of a happy marriage, so show gratitude to your partner as much as you can. In this way, no one will feel as if they have taken for granted the other.
Priorities At the beginning of the relationship between the spouses, especially at the time of the engagement, spending fun times together and going out together is inevitable because they enjoy the parties very much, but after a period of marriage the couple’s time becomes not for them. If you have children, they become your whole world, and when you give all your feelings Your affection for your children and not leaving anything to your partner, this is not a good sign. To prevent this from hurting your relationship, be sure to save your partner’s private time on a daily and weekly basis, especially during vacation times.
Separate life “When you don’t prioritize communicating with your husband, and you have reached the point where you don’t know anything about the stresses and joyous news of his life, that means you are starting to live a separate life,” social worker Elisha Powell told Bastel. “To change that, start getting closer gradually, not suddenly. It’s all about sharing and making some changes.”
Permanent resentment If you have deep resentment and anxiety arising from the details of married life and the way things work between you and your husband, one way to overcome dissatisfaction in your relationship is to change your marital routine in any way possible and explore some new activities in which you can unload your accumulated anger, Such as game frankness and mutual questions and consider yourself living in the past.
Private life Everyone has the right to keep some things for themselves, but if things change and hide some of the things that you didn’t hide before from your partner, that’s not a good sign. This may mean that you don’t trust your partner. Honesty in a relationship is important, so try to be open, as being honest creates your husband’s honesty.
Single battles Every couple goes through problems. But if you don’t learn anything from your ongoing arguments with your husband, that’s not true. You do not need to fight the same battles over and over again, but you need to fix some of the things that cause you to engage in a frequent fight, even if it takes time, but the key here is to consciously and deal with these problems intelligently. You can also ask for help from a veteran or someone who has experience in marital relations.
Different spending habits If you and your partner are not on the same floor as to how you spend money, things can go bad. “Money is one of the most difficult things to deal effectively within any relationship because money is closely linked to our sense of survival and security,” says Mira.
Joint activity All healthy marital relationships where we find couples have common hobbies and interests. When you and your partner don’t have at least one activity that you think is important to you, this can be a problem for your marriage. It is our common interests that make us feel close to someone.
Dealing with problems Some people are able to change quickly while others are not. Some people deal with problems faster than others. Some can quickly break free from the sense of loss, or deal with their new job, while others take longer to adjust to their new lives. If you and your partner don’t follow the same pattern, you may have difficulty staying happy in the long run.
The only constant thing in life is change, and how you deal with it can determine how close you are in your relationship with your husband. Although the nature of your husband coping with problems is not something that is immediately discovered, it will eventually emerge.